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Avery Junior Johnson
Sergeant Major Avery Johnson is the galaxies' number one badass and player, serving in the UNSC Marine Corps since he was born. A Lightbulb tried to kill him, but failed as his badassness deflected the beam and it hit the bulb in the face. Johnson is also known as God, and puts the fear of himself into his enemies. Aids Avery Johnson is the only man known to be immune to Aids. Why he is immune is unknown, but it is widely speculated to be his badassness. The fact that he is God helps. Johnson's Badassness Some speculate that Johnson may have had come in contact with Gruntiness. It is unknown how he survived contact with it, but he may've been able to do so by hugging an Elite for warmth. He is also immune to Halos, Lightbulbs, and everything else. Some also speculate that he passed this onto his girlfriend, Jilan al-Cyngi. Others hold that his ability to resist AIDS and to survive even in space is derived from the fact that he is God incarnate, able to smite his enemies by "putting the fear" of him into them. Though he fell in battle against a pitiful lightbulb, legends hold that he shall rise during the end times and raise an army of Badass to stop the Master Chief's apocalyptic slaughter. Others claim that it's because he's black, but that would be an offensive stereotype. How Badass? He is the only man that can pity Mr. T, thus causing an infinitive time loop that has been sought after to be solved by n00bs all over the world. One day, a very lucky player named AFlyingMonkey08 had unscrambled the horrific infinitive hula-hoop of horror, only to spontaneously s'plode seconds later. His Quotes One of the thing that makes him so badass is that he always has a funny or smart comment for any situation. He says that he comes up with them himself but actually he had a small book he stole from some old man and when he is not fighting he is looking himself in a mirror and trying to remember the quotes. Teachers Rumours surround Johnson's early childhood years. Some advance claims that he was trained by the ghosts of Chuck Norris and Mr T., and upon learning the secrets of the Infinite Universe, gained infinite immortality to become the man he is. Others claim that he is a Human-Alien hybrid, created by Weyland-Yutani Corporation, and escaping to start a new life on the outside. Rumours have circulated for decades that Johnson was trained by Yoda while stranded on a, hence on the name random swamp planet lol, random swamp planet int he ways of the Force, but Yoda's little and green and Johnson he wouldnt have cared. Others claim that he is the Chosen One, who will bring balance to the Force. Johnson hates balance, and will instead kill yo momma. The ghosts of Chuck Norris and Mr T. follow Johnson wherever he goes, giving him helpful advice on life, the universe, and everything. Only Johnson can see then, promting confusion among those around him from repeated outburst of "I pity the Fool!" Relatives Avery "Badass" Johnson has no known relatives, but dues to his badassness he has been linked to Mr. T, when T was asked of any relation to Johnson he said "I pity the fool who thought that up!" Category:Characters Category:People who can Kill Master Chief